You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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