Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
