If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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