That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I had to cum in my sink.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
