well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
being pregnant is like rehab
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
