I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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