I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
