it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
