so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
