Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
