there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Randomize
