Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
