Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
