if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
