Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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