Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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