he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
