So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
