It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
