3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
