it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
vagina is talking i cant
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
