i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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