so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
