Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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