First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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