Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
