p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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