im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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