I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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