Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
