i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
