So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
