Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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