drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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