I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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