i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
