I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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