he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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