And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
