road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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