Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
