im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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