It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
