You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
