On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
