Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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