I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
