It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
