Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dear god my vagina.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
