i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
